Movies for Days

This past Saturday, my DH and I had invited another couple over for a movie night.  We spent some time cleaning the house earlier and I was so proud to have it complimented for its tidiness.  I believe the phrase used was "OMG, your house is spotless!  I'm really impressed!"  I'm actually still smiling about this because it really means the world to me that people notice how much time and effort goes into keeping a clean home.  As much of a pain it is to do chores, I'm going to try to make sure I keep with it to avoid added stress during these times.  A clean home is a happy home, right?

The main attraction Saturday night was Star Wars IV: A New Hope, since surprisingly the guy had never seen any of the Star Wars movies.  We ordered pizza, had some beers (except me), and had a really great time.  So much so, that I almost forgot to do my injection.  If it wasn't for the girl's phone reminder to take her birth control which actually reminded me about my Lupron, I might have missed it.  Now, I'm taking her example and setting an reminder on my own phone.  Movie night was such a success that we're actually planning to have more until we finish watching all of the Star Wars films.

Apparently movie night turned into movie weekend because the next day my DH and I were being couch potatoes and watched movies all day long.  Sunday, I woke up and began the day with some relaxing yoga before making a pancake breakfast.  See my cute mat on the left, so cheerful in the sun!  Then, we watched the Great Gatsby on HBO which I'd been highly anticipating.  I remember enjoying the book as a kid but not well enough to compare it to the movie.  In general, the movie was great but I expected the music to go with the era it was set in, instead it had one too many Jay Z songs, in my opinion.  Next, we watched A Good Day to Die Hard.  It was actually my second time watching it but honestly, I was so tired the first time that I fell asleep in the theatre.  If you've seen it already, you probably think I'm weird for being able to sleep though all those explosions and gunshots but this is actually very normal for me.  I can sleep though just about ANYTHING.  Now that I've seen it, I'm glad I stayed awake this time.  Last and certainly not least, the movie of the night was the Academy Award winning, 12 Years a Slave.  I'm not going to give away any spoilers but this is an amazing and inspiring film.  If you're anything like me, have some tissues handy too.  I can get so emotional when I watch sad movies but it's hard not to get enthralled in this unbelievable story no matter how tough you are.  Definitely a must see!

Which brings us to today.  What began as a bad day turned out pretty good.  Nothing major so I won't divulge, just little annoyances that I couldn't avoid.  At the end of it all, I came home to a fridge full of groceries, dinner ready to be served (both thanks to my DH), and the added bonus of a day off from work tomorrow.  So as you can see, things in my world are back to normal for the time being.  Let's hope they stay that way!

CD #22 / Lupron

Quick check in, I finally received my box of meds and can begin taking my Lupron injections.  I will be taking 20 units daily in the abdomen for two weeks.  Then, 14 days from today, I will go back to the office for blood work and a sonogram to get further instructions.  I have another post from my IVF cycle with info on the drug if you need it.  I'm really excited that it's here because I'm already a day behind.  Praying for the best!

CD #21

I was supposed to receive my package of meds to get started for this FET cycle about a week ago and here I am on CD #21 empty handed.  This post should be about how it's my first day taking the Lupron injections and my excitement about starting the cycle,  but that will have to wait.  It's very hard not to stress out while my pharmacy takes it's sweet time to send out my meds in a timely manner.  I've been on the phone with them and my doctor's office pretty much everyday trying to sort it all out.  First, they delay submitting the request that my doctor's office faxed over.  Then, they denied my coverage over some minor paperwork error, yet didn't inform either myself or my doctor's office.  I had to call to find out, and when the office sends over an amended form with the correct information, they don't tell us that it had to be sent on a different "appeal" form until I called again to check the status of my order.  Once all that paperwork is sorted out, they send the office a confirmation of approval and the nurse calls to tell me that I should be getting the package today.  Of course when I get home there's no package to speak of and when I call the pharmacy they tell me they'll have to transfer me to someone else to schedule the shipment, meaning if I hadn't called it'd probably never come.  They finally confirm that it will arrive tomorrow and the doctor's office informs me that it is ok to start the injections a day late.  At least the whole cycle isn't ruined but I'm very disappointed with the runaround the pharmacy put me through.  Is it too much to ask that meds be delivered on time?  God forbid I was dying,  I wouldn't be here right now if it was up to them.  Anyway, I'm ranting.  I just wanted to note that my last post will come in handy now as I am in serious need of de-stressing and relaxation.  Off to find my yoga mat.

Yoga while TTC

As I am now beginning to embark on this incredible journey of trying to conceive again, I wanted to try something new that would allow me to relax my body and get into a calm and stress-free state of mind.  Balancing work and home is difficult enough without throwing doctor visits and daily meds in the picture so a change was definitely in order.  Yoga was something I'd wanted to try for a while for all the reasons I just mentioned and since things are about to get so much more hectic now that the FET process is officially underway, I figured I should start as soon as possible.  Recently, I stumbled upon a video by ABC news that featured fertility yoga and I'm really excited about it.  Keep in mind that fertility yoga isn't some cure for infertility, it just helps women trying to conceive (whether it's through infertility treatments or not) by creating a comfort zone that releases all the stress and worry of trying to conceive.     

I'm going to put it out there and say that I do not exercise at all and haven't really done it since 2009 (the year I got married), but I didn't really approach this as physical exercise so much as spiritual exercise.  So for those of you hesitant to try it, remember it's all about your perception.  If you focus on the positive effects and results, it becomes easier to do than if you just think of it as another chore or task to finish.  When I began, I chose a quiet Sunday morning while my hubby and dogs were still asleep to set up in the living room and begin my stretches.  I performed a simple 20 minute routine from a Youtube video titled Yoga for Relaxation which I loved and highly recommend.  The yoga instructor has such a nice way of coaching you through the process while still relaxing your mind.  My experience was very calming and the only downside was I didn't have a yoga mat which made some poses a little difficult since my wood floor was very cold and hard, so I definitely recommend getting one first.  I even took some time afterward to just lie on the floor (my body had warmed up by then) and enjoy the peaceful environment I'd just created.  Since then I've purchased my very own yoga mat and look forward to making this a regular part of my Sundays.  Maybe more, once I get the hang of it.  I'm including the video below for anyone interested, enjoy!  

TMI TAG

Recently, a friend of mine that has a beauty blog posted a video response for a TMI TAG.  I thought I'd give it a go on the blog as a "get to know me" type of post.  Sorry, there's no video because I'm not that good in front of a camera.  Who knows maybe in the future.

TMI TAG QUESTIONS:
1: What are you wearing?  My little mermaid tee, sweat pants, and a black sweater.  See pic below.
2: Ever been in love?  Of course, I'm married!
3: Ever had a terrible breakup?  I wouldn't say terrible but I've never had a good breakup.  Has anyone?
4: How tall are you?  5' 2
5: How much do you weigh?  127, wish it was a little less.
6: Any tattoos?  Just one, a nautical star on my lower back (right side).  It's pink fading into purple from the center to the points.
7: Any piercings?  Just my ears right now.  My belly ring was removed during my first pregnancy.
8: OTP?  I had to google this.  It stands for one true pairing but I still don't get it.
9: Favorite show?  Just finished watching Breaking Bad and Dexter, so sad about that.  Still watching Grey's Anatomy, Sons of Anarchy, True Detective, Game of Thrones, Boardwalk Empire, Walking Dead, Scandal, the Following, anything with Chef Gordon Ramsey, so much more!!
10: Favorite bands?  MCR, Linkin Park, System of a Down, Metallica and my husband would kill me if I didn't say, Savage Regime!
11: Something you miss?  I miss my Mom mostly since I've left home.
12: Favorite song?  Don't think I have one.
13: How old are you?  30
14: Zodiac sign?  Aries
15: Quality you look for in a partner?  Honesty, most of all.
16: Favorite Quote?  Don't know.
17: Favorite actor?  Right now, I'd have to say Matthew McConaughey.  His performance in Magic Mike was cinematic perfection, j/k.  We just saw Dallas Buyers Club and it was amazing, definitely worth the Oscar win.  I'm also enjoying him in True Detective on HBO.
18: Favorite color?  I'm girly, it's pink.  When I feel grown and sexy it's red.

19: Loud music or soft?  Definitely loud, did you read #10.
20: Where do you go when you’re sad?  Home, my pups always make me smile and so does my hubby.
21: How long does it take you to shower?  About 20 mins.
22: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?  About an hour.  I move really slow in the am.
23: Ever been in a physical fight?  Not yet.
24: Turn on?  Eyes always catch my attention first.  My husband has light brown/greenish eyes, which I love.
25: Turn off?  I'm very picky so anyone who looks a mess or unhygienic.
26: The reason I joined Youtube?  I'll substitute blogging in general.  I started because I wanted to document my journey with TTC.
27: Fears?  That my next pregnancy won't be successful.  It's kinda my last chance.
28: Last thing that made you cry?  Last Christmas while decorating, I found a little Santa hat that was supposed to be for my little Angel.  The memories were overwhelming and I couldn't help crying.
29: Last time you said you loved someone?  A few hours ago to a friend's little one year old baby.
30: Meaning behind your YouTube Name?  N/A
31: Last book you read?  Probably a Twilight book, don't judge.
32: The book you’re currently reading?  None at the moment, but I do want to pick up a few pregnancy books I've had my eyes on.
33: Last show you watched?  Grey's Anatomy
34: Last person you talked to?  My husband who is right next to me.
35: The relationship between you and the person you last texted?  Love her, she's the one that inspired this post.
36: Favorite food?  Love penne vodka from Que Pasta.
37: Place you want to visit?  Next vacation I'd like to go to Hawaii.
38: Last place you were?  Last road trip was to Philly.
39: Do you have a crush?  Does my husband count lol?
40: Last time you kissed someone?  My friend's little one year old, Tre.
41: Last time you were insulted?  Can't really remember.
42: Favorite flavor of sweet?  Hello, my name is Miriam and I'm a Choco-holic.
43: What instruments do you play?  None well, but I do have an electric keyboard.

44: Favorite piece of jewelry?  My wedding band and engagement ring.
45: Last sport you played?  Something in gym class over ten years ago.
46: Last song you sang?  Something by MCR, can't remember cuz I just found out they broke up.
47: Favorite chat up line?  Um, "hi" then go from there.
48: Have you ever used it?  Yes, all the time.
49: Last time you hung out with anyone?  Few hours ago, was out at a birthday party.
50: Who should answer these questions next?  Anyone who dares, lol.  It was fun!  Hope you enjoy.

CD #9 / Sonohysterogram

First, I'd like to begin by saying that no news is good news in this case.  Dr R didn't find anything from my sonohysteogram, which is what I was hoping to hear.  I have been given the green light to proceed with the FET process and my meds have been ordered.  What a relief!!

Second, I'd like to share with you my experience with having a sonohysterogram.  Not really, but I will anyway because I truly hope that no one will go into this being half as scared and nervous as I was for reading horror story after horror story thanks to google.  Don't get me wrong, it WILL hurt but it's not like you're getting stabbed to death or anything (at least I really hope not).  Just do as I did, take your prescribed antibiotics as instructed and some Tylenol about an hour beforehand and you should be ok.  

A sonohysterogram is a basically a test by which your doctor can identify any abnormalities in your uterus such as fibroids, polyps, growths, or lesions in the uterine wall.  The test is usually performed within the first two weeks of your cycle but not while you are menstruating.  Mine was done on CD #9, which was yesterday.  I was scheduled to work long hours that particular day (8:15 am - 6:30 pm) so I had to have my test done during my lunch break which was unnecessarily stressful.  I was worried about being out too long, but I am lucky that my manager understood the importance of my appointment and was ok with me taking an extended break.  I arrived at Dr R's office a little late but didn't have to wait long to be called in to the exam room.  The nurse instructed me to undress from the waist down and that she would return with the doctor soon.  I immediately change from my warm comfortable pants and undies into a large pink piece of paper that I placed on my lap.  As I sat there waiting for what seemed like an eternity, I prayed and prayed for strength no matter what the outcome.  I hoped for the best, but wasn't naive enough to think that there wasn't any possibility for a worst case scenario.

Dr R knocked on the door before entering with the nurse.  He greeted me with a handshake and began walking me through the procedure as we went along.  Personally, I find this really helpful and reassuring because I can follow along with the process and not have to lie there baffled by the sensations of what's going on.  If I hadn't known what was actually taking place, my imagination would have driven me insane, but that's just me!  I placed my feet into the stirrups and lied down on my back.  He inserted a speculum in order to get the catheter through my vagina, cervix and finally into the uterus, then removed it.  The catheter is very, very thin but don't let the look of it fool you.  Your body will try to reject it as soon as it goes into the uterus and the cramps feel similar to the first day of your period.  My only advice is to try to relax and control your breathing.  The last thing you want to do is get tense.  Next, he injects a saline solution and as if that wasn't enough also inserts a sonogram wand thing in there too.  He positions the wand for a clear view of the uterus and lets me know that he doesn't see any abnormalities.  He shows me the screen and basically if the uterus looks like a black sideways teardrop, it's normal.  Any abnormalities would show up a white-ish color within the black teardrop.  Once that was done, the catheter was removed and he took some measurements of my ovaries, uterus, endometrial lining, etc. with the sonogram wand.  The whole process took about 10 minutes or so and was relatively painless except for the cramping and pressure you feel down there.  The only thing I'll warn you about is that for me the cramps did continue for the rest of the day.  Another thing is that I had to wear a pantyliner afterwards because the saline was still draining out.  Other than that, everything went well and I am happy to know that I'm one step closer.

I hope this post helps anyone getting a sonohysterogram soon and if there are any questions, I'd be happy to answer them.  When I began this blog I never really felt like anyone would read it but myself and maybe a select few people close to me, but now I see that if by sharing my experiences, I can ease someone else's future even just a little bit then I'm happy to do it.  I know I'm grateful for all the other women's stories I've read who have been on this journey like me.  You are all so inspiring, you have no idea.  Thanks a million!!    

CD #1

It's pretty late right now and I'm just about ready for bed, but I needed to document this moment while the excitement is still there, before reality sets in.  Today of the first day of my cycle and the beginning of my Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET) process. 

My hubby, Leo, and I have decided to try to become pregnant again after almost 2 years and we are very hopeful that this time we will be successful.  I actually just had a consultation with Dr. R yesterday to go over the whole process for this time around and I will be posting more detailed information soon, but he basically said we could begin as soon as I get my next period.  To my surprise, I got my dot just a few hours ago.  Boy was that fast, my body is not wasting any time at all!  It's all good tho, I'm finally ready again and will be saying some prayers tonight for my little frozen babies.  I can't wait for us to be reunited and I will be calling Dr. R first thing in the morning to tell him the good news!