Coping

My apologies, it's been several months since I've visited this blog.  At first it was because I became suddenly too busy for it with all the excitement of the baby but, in the blink of an eye it was all gone.  My husband and I received the most heartbreaking news that our precious baby was not going to make it.  I honestly still can't grasp the reality of it all but I've decided that I will not abandon the blog and keep writing my story, as difficult as it is.  I'm not ready to get into detail yet but I'm promising myself that in time I will.  I believe it will help with the healing process.

6 Weeks

Your Baby in Week 6 of Pregnancy

You might be coping with full-blown pregnancy symptoms (sorry), but there's plenty of good news too. Your baby's jaw, cheeks, chin, eyes, ears, and nose are beginning to form what will eventually become one adorable face. In addition, her kidneys, liver, and lungs are developing, and her heart is now beating 80 times a minute (and getting faster every day). All this and she's still no bigger than the length of a nail head (about a quarter of an inch) from crown to rump!


Your Body in Week 6 of Pregnancy

Your body may not yet have changed on the outside, but there's a lot happening on the inside. For one thing, the pregnancy hormone hCG is causing an increase of blood flow to your pelvic area, and your kidneys are becoming more efficient at ridding your body of waste; add to that the fact that your growing uterus is beginning to push down on your bladder and you've got a perfect (pee) storm. What else is going on in there? Bloating, queasiness, and cravings (or food aversions).


So far so good.  I haven't had any increasingly bad symptoms and I still feel the same for the most part, thank goodness.  I have noticed that most of my jeans are REALLY tight on me now.  It doesn't help that I used to wear them fitted to begin with but now I have no wiggle room whatsoever.  I'm basically living in stretchy leggings and sweatpants until I start shopping for actual maternity clothes.  Leo and I went to see Dr. R today and he says everything is going well.  He also told us that my official due date is December 19th and we are really excited that our baby will be spending his/her 1st Christmas with us this year!

Singleton

Well, I'll start by admitting I was a teeny bit disappointed when Dr. R said there was only one sac in the ultrasound, but I'm gonna focus on the positive... I've got a little growing baby in me!!  My hubby and I were so anxious all week knowing that today we would see our little one again for the first time since my transfer.  I actually sprung out of bed the moment my nyan cat alarm tune sounded, which is rare for me, and got ready ASAP.  We got to the office at exactly 7:30 am but actually held off for a few minutes because the Z100 phone tap started playing.  (The phone taps are basically phone pranks that listeners request the radio personalities play on others to make them really angry; they record the calls and play them on the air so everyone can hear how crazy people react.)  As excited as we were, we could not miss that radio bit.  It was so hilarious, it took my mind off of all the craziness going on in my mind.  When we got upstairs, we waited for about a half hour for Dr. R to see us and he said everything looks good and that it's still too early for a <3 beat, but that he could see a small flutter in the yolk sac.  He took measurements of everything, gave us a photo to take home, and since we had no more questions, we said goodbye and he left the room.  When the Doc left, Leo and I took a private moment to celebrate the good news and stare at the growing little one in the picture.  We are so happy that our baby is doing well and that we have nothing to worry about.  It gives me such peace of mind.  I'll finish off by including our baby's second picture ever, enjoy!

Our baby is in the small black circle in the middle of the pic :-)

Prenatal Vitamins

I've been taking prenatal vitamins since the beginning of my pregnancy now and I didn't really understand the importance of it until I started doing some research.  One little pill really packs a punch.  It contains a large variety of vitamins and minerals that basically provide everything necessary for a mommy to be and her growing baby.  Although, your body is supposed to get all its nutrition from the foods you eat, when you're pregnant the baby absorbs a lot of nutrients from you and in turn, you end up tired and feeling weaker.  The prenatal vitamins give moms the boost they need to keep both of them healthy.  My doc prescribed me Vitafol-One and luckily it hasn't caused any bad side effects which could include nausea, vomiting, and dizziness.  Here's some more specific information on the importance of prenatal vitamins for all those future mommies.

"Folic acid can reduce your risk of having a baby with a serious birth defect of the brain and spinal cord, called the ‘neural tube.’ A baby with spina bifida, the most common neural tube defect, is born with a spine that is not closed. The exposed nerves are damaged, leaving the child with varying degrees of paralysis, incontinence, and sometimes mental retardation.

Neural tube defects develop in the first 28 days after conception, before many women realise they are pregnant. Because about half of all pregnancies are unplanned, the Department of Health recommends that you take 400 micrograms of folic acid each day while you are trying to conceive, and should continue taking this dose for the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. . A woman who has had a prior child with a neural tube defect should discuss the appropriate dose of folic acid with her doctor before her next pregnancy. Studies have shown that taking a larger dose (up to 4,000 micrograms) at least one month before and during the first trimester may be beneficial.

There are natural sources of folic acid: green leafy vegetables, nuts, beans, and citrus fruits. It is also found in many fortified breakfast cereals and some vitamin supplements.

Calcium during pregnancy can prevent a new mother from losing her own bone density, as the foetus uses the mineral for bone growth.

Iron helps both the mother and baby's blood carry oxygen.

While a daily vitamin supplement is no substitute for a healthy diet, most women need supplements to make sure they get adequate levels of these minerals."
Source: Yahoo

5 Weeks

Appleseed

Your Baby in Week 5 of Pregnancy

Your baby now resembles a teeny tadpole (complete with a tiny tail) and is about the size of an orange seed. The circulatory (or blood) system, along with the heart, is the first part of that tiny body to be functional; and as your baby's heart starts to form, you may even be able to see it beating on an early ultrasound. Another part of your little tadpole that is under construction: the neural tube, which will eventually become your baby's brain and spinal cord.


Your Body in Week 5 of Pregnancy

Your body's had all the early pregnancy signs — the missed period, nausea, tender breasts, and fatigue. And now you've got proof as your pee works its magic on that test strip — yup, you're officially preggers! This news will probably elicit a combo platter of emotions ranging from sheer joy to sheer terror as the reality that you're going to be a mom sets in. Mood swings are totally normal (kind of like PMS on overdrive) and you'd better get used to them since they'll be hanging around for the next nine months or so.
Source: What to expect

Ok, so now I know for sure that women get weird cravings when they're pregnant.  The other day I would not be satisfied unless I had tuna with tomatoes, corn, and mayo!  It probably sounds disgusting to most people, but I needed it so much that my mouth was watering at the thought of it, lol.  In addition to the weird cravings, I've also felt like going to the potty much more often than usual.  My bladder just isn't what it used to be, especially in the mornings.  I feel like I have to run to the bathroom as soon as I wake up, if I don't already get woken up for having to go.  Aside from the nausea I felt 2 Saturdays ago, I only felt sick once more yesterday afternoon, but eating saltines and ginger ale helped curb the queasy feelings.

My 29th Birthday

Last Monday, was my birthday but since I knew I was going to be working, I'd decided to celebrate on the weekend.  With all the baby stuff going on, I wasn't really sure what I wanted to do but I knew I just wanted to keep it low key and relaxing.  Looking back on it, I wish I'd taken Monday off but I was kinda trying to save my vacation days for any special upcoming baby related events.  I'm also going to be taking the first week of May off for our anniversarys so I'll get to relax then.

Our chef

We kicked off the the birthday festivities on Saturday by making dinner plans to visit Mt. Fuji, which is a local hibachi restaurant.  Even though I was really looking forward to going, at around 2 pm I started feeling very queasy.  I'm guessing this was my first bout with "morning" sickness which I don't mind too much because I totally expected it but the timing couldn't be any worse.  We had already invited 12 members of our family to attend and I didn't want to let anyone down at the last minute.  Somehow I managed to get ready and even though we lost our reservation because we were late, we still had a great time.  I found that ginger ale really helps with the tummy aches.

The next day, Leo and I met up with my 2 besties at the Melting Pot for dinner.  It was an interesting experience but if I could go back in time, I'd definitely choose another restaurant.  Their only saving grace was the dessert... sooo yummy!  I love catching up with these guys because regardless of what we have going on, we can always pick up wherever we left off.  One of them is planning a huge wedding set for next year (where I will be his best "man"), the other one just got a new car and was looking into moving to a bigger place with her hubby, and of course there's me who's pregnant.  Although we're all pretty much the same age, we're at such different stages of our lives right now.  I think that's why we mesh so well,  we are uniquely independent yet very similar in lots of ways.  It's hard to explain but if you knew us you'd understand.

Lastly, on the actual day of my birthday, my hubby and I just went to my mom's house after work and ordered take out from a local Peruvian restaurant, El Chevere.  Nice quiet dinner at mom's and then we went home to rest.

Onions (before)

Onion volcano (after)

I <3 rice

Dinner is served!

Yes, this is MY baby inspired birthday cake;
Giselle is my middle name, lol. 

My bro & I

The growing family!

4 Weeks

Poppy seed

Your Baby in Week 4 of Pregnancy

No bigger than a poppy seed, the ball of cells that will develop into your baby has completed its journey from your fallopian tube to your uterus. Once settled in its new home, it will undergo the great divide — splitting into two groups. Half will become your baby (or embryo), while the other half forms the placenta, your baby's lifeline until delivery. The multilayered embryo then begins to grow into specialized parts of your baby's body. The inner layer, known as the endoderm, will develop into your baby's digestive system, liver, and lungs. The middle layer, called the mesoderm, will soon be your baby's heart, sex organs, bones, kidneys, and muscles. The outer layer, or ectoderm, will eventually form your baby's nervous system, hair, skin, and eyes.


Your Body in Week 4 of Pregnancy

While the tiny ball of cells that is your baby begins to undergo its magical transformation into a multilayered embryo, your body is going through a magical transformation of its own — from a reliable buddy to a weird and wacky science experiment. You may start exhibiting early pregnancy symptoms like bloating, cramping, and mood swings that feel similar to premenstrual symptoms. You might also experience implantation bleeding , a common (and harmless) light pink, red, or brown spotting that can occur when the egg settles into your uterus.You might feel a little pressure in your abdomen (nothing to worry about!) and your breasts may feel a little tender and become even bigger (but get ready for more growth spurts!).
Source: What to Expect

Amazing!  So far, I definitely felt the cramping and bloating, but luckily no bleeding.  Even though it says it's normal, it would've freaked me out.  Best of all, I still haven't experienced any morning sickness, yay!  My boobs got fuller and Leo's definitely noticing, lol.  They feel sensitive to movement especially when I don't wear a bra around the house.  

Show and Tell

I know it's still really early to go telling the world about this pregnancy but we've already told our close friends and family since they already knew we were going through the IVF procedures.  Immediately after telling my hubby, Leo, I told my mom, of course.  It was a quick phone conversation because I was at work, but she was so happy I could hear her about to cry.  I knew I was going to her house later on that day because she's been giving my progesterone shots so I kept it short.  As soon as she saw me that evening, her eyes teared up and she started crying.  She said she was so happy for us and to take care of myself so that the baby would be healthy and strong.  That's the mom gene that's always looking out for me like I'm still her baby, but I know I always will be.  She couldn't stop hugging and kissing me and I have to admit I almost started crying too.  She loves me so much and I am really excited to give her her 1st grandchild!  My younger brother was there too and he was really excited to hear the good news about him being an uncle.

Next, we went to my in-laws house since our parents live minutes away from each other.  We saw my mother in law, who literally started dancing in the street when we told her about the pregnancy.  She was thrilled with with the news and told us about her newest art pieces she'd been painting recently since we told her about doing the procedures.  The pieces are really great and I'm looking forward to having some in our house.  In addition to one of the new paintings she made, I really want to have the watercolor of Leo as a baby.  I think it would look perfect in the baby's nursery!

The next day, I was meeting with 3 of my girlfriends who I haven't seen in a long time.  We all used to work together two years ago and luckily we still keep in touch.  They were all really supportive when I'd told them about starting IVF and especially when I kept chickening out, lol.  I'd only told one of them about going through the procedure but she still didn't know I'd gotten the results.  The news got out quick; within minutes of my arrival!  They'd gotten to the restaurant before me and were already drinking margaritas so when I ordered a Sprite, one of them asked "What are you, pregnant?"  To this I simply stated, "Yes."  I think it took a second to sink in and then came all the hugs and excited cheers.  They were really excited, especially when I showed them the picture and they saw 2 little ones.  Now they can't wait to see if I'm having twins and want to meet up at least once a month so they can see my belly grow... love these girls!

Funny & I hope so!

PREGNANT!!!

Yes, it's true... I'm officially PREGNANT!!  I'm so excited to have such positive results on our first try with IVF.  I went for blood work in the morning yesterday and waited anxiously until I got a call back at around noon.  I was busy working with a client so my manager let me know Jen had called.  The staff at Dr. R's office go for an hour lunch at 12 pm so I had to wait until after 1 pm to call back.  I called at exactly 1:05 pm and spoke to Carmen.  She was the one who told me the great news!  I was really surprised, in a happy way... not that I was doubtful, but you just never know with these things.  She gave me instructions to stay on the Progesterone and Estradiol but to also pick up some Pre-natal vitamins from my pharmacy.  After I was done speaking with her, I called my husband immediately and said, "Congratulations Daddy, I'm pregnant!"  He was elated and said that he couldn't stop smiling the rest of the day.  It's so nice to know that everything worked out so far because I was getting a little bit worried.  Lately I'd been feeling some slight cramping and I thought I might be getting my dot.  Turns out that the crampy feeling is just the embryo(s) implanting itself, lol.

Side note:  I'd begun the Progesterone and Estradiol on Monday and here's some more info on the meds.

"Women undergoing Assisted Reproductive Technology procedures, such as in vitro fertilization or IVF, usually need progesterone supplementation after the eggs (oocytes) are removed during an oocyte retrieval procedure. Women need more progesterone supplementation after retrieval procedures, secondary to the medications used in an IVF cycle, which may decrease proper progesterone formation as well as due to the retrieval process itself, which can deplete progesterone producing cells."

Source: American Fertility Association

My tiny Estradiol pills, 3x a day

"Estrogen supplementation during an IVF cycle is now commonly used by many infertility specialists. One of the major hormones of pregnancy, estrogen helps maintain the endometrial lining of the uterus. While some early studies have shown that patients taking both progesterone and estrogen supplements during an IVF cycle after the egg retrieval have higher clinical pregnancy rates, newer studies seem to dispute this. However, as more research is still needed to study this, some Reproductive Endocrinologists (REs) prescribe estrogen supplements to help support the growth of the endometrium.  Estrace, or estradiol, is the form of estrogen most commonly prescribed."
Source: About.com

TRANSFER!!

Last Tuesday was the day I finally got to take home 2 of my little ones.  My mom and hubby accompanied me to the hospital at 6:30 am, although I was up at 4:30 am cleaning the house like a madwoman.  I was just so excited to go and had to keep busy until it was time.  I had a nice long shower and before I knew it, I was actually running a little behind schedule. My mom got to my house and I was still in a towel!  I picked up the pace and was out the door in 15 minutes.

When we got there, I filed out some more paperwork and the nurses took me in to get changed.  They then took some blood and led me to the OR table where I got strapped in for the procedure.  Dr. R came in and began explaining the process step by step as he worked and then we were done!  It all happened so fast that I couldn't believe it was over.  I think it hit me as the nurses were removing my straps because all of a sudden, I burst into tears.  My OR nurse brought me some tissue, wiped my tears, and told me to smile because it was a happy day.  She was right but I couldn't help myself.  I don't know if it was all the hormones or just me or a combination of the two, but I was feeling so emotional at that moment.  After a couple of minutes, Dr. R came back with a picture of my little ones and reassured me that everything looks well and that now all I had to do is rest.  It's so amazing what he's done and even though I always said I just wanted one baby, as I lay there with their picture in my hands, I secretly hoped both would make it.  I stayed lying down for 20 minutes before leaving to go home and the next three days were pretty boring.  It was nice to rest but I'd actually caught a cold the day before the transfer and was sneezing, coughing, and sniffling the whole time.  So much for relaxing but at least I was home with my hubby and our little ones.

Our 2 littles

CD# 15 / Retrieval

The day before yesterday was a big day for us on our long road to baby... actually it was focused more on my hubby.  His doctor was able to successfully retrieve his sperm by means of a testicular biopsy.  Albeit a painful procedure, it was necessary for us to have our baby.  I love him so much for doing this for our baby and I wish I could've been there with him.  Unfortunately, I had to go to work in order to avoid another warning from work. 

Yesterday was my turn... I went to finally get my retrieval done!  The appointment was set for 7:30 am but I had to be there an hour before.  My mom drove me since my hubby was still recovering from his procedure.  After filling out some paperwork, I changed into my hospital gown and waited a few minutes for the nurse to set up my IV.  She tried to use my right arm about 3 times before switching to the left arm to insert the IV line.  For some reason she couldn't find the vein in the right arm but I should've known to expect that since it's not the first time this has happened.  (The nurses at Dr. R's office always find the vein on either arm but I guess that's just because they're awesome.)  Anyway, I was then taken to the OR and asked to lie down on the table.  I met my Anesthesiologist while the OR nurses strapped me down.  When they were all ready, they called for Dr. R to begin and then I was asleep.  The procedure lasted about 45 minutes and when I woke up, I recognized my Embryologist checking out my stats.  He told me that they'd recovered 20 eggs and that it was the highest number he's seen in years!!  Even though I was really groggy, I was ecstatic with the great news.  I had a small bottle of water while he read me my discharge instructions and I was home about an hour later.

I can't believe how far we've come and I'm really anxious for the next and last step of the procedure... the Transfer!  I got a call back from my nurse at Dr. R's office at around 3:30 pm while I was at work.  She told me that out of the 20 eggs, 15 were fertilized.  Out of the 15, 7 matured into embryos and that on Tuesday they will transfer 2 into me.  I cannot wait to take 2 of those little ones home!!  Everyone at work thinks we'll have twins and even though it seems like too much to handle, I'd happily carry 2 bundles of joy until they're ready to come out.  If that's the case, I hope we all win the MegaMillions!  ;-)

CD #11 / Novarel

This weekend was quite relaxing... my younger brother came over for the weekend and since he kept my hubby company, I got a chance to rest and prepare for the upcoming week.

Monday: Blood work and ultrasound

Tuesday: Blood work, appointment with Dr. R to sign final consent forms and get final instructions, appointment to make payments for my hubby's procedure, dinner at my favorite restaurant for pre-celebration, trigger shot at exactly 8:30 pm

Wednesday: My hubby's testicular biopsy at 11 am

Thursday: My retrieval at 7:30 am

Friday: Wait for results...

My trigger shot was done by my mom since it has to be given on my booty with the big needle.  It's called Novarel and here's some info on what it does:

"NOVAREL® (chorionic gonadotropin for injection, USP) is ahuman chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) that is used to stimulate egg release (ovulation) in the infertile woman who has not ovulated, and whose cause of infertility is not due to primary ovarian failure. Before administering NOVAREL®, patients have usually received previous treatment with gonadotropins, such as BRAVELLE® (urofollitropin for injection, purified), MENOPUR® (menotropins for injection, USP), or REPRONEX®(menotropins for injection, USP)."

Source: Ferring Fertility

BTW: March 22 was my pup, Brodi's, 1st birthday!!

Isn't he super cute?

CD #5 / Repronex

Saturday morning I made it to my appointment for blood work and an ultrasound.  It was a quick visit and then I went to work.  They said they'd give me a call before 12pm and when I didn't hear back, I decided to call them.  Apparently they were running a little late with the call backs and they hadn't gotten to my name yet but they were nice enough to give me all my info when I called.  The nurse told me that everything looked well and that I should start on the Repronex!  She caught me by surprise because I thought I had to wait for CD #21 again, but I'm happy to see things are back on track.  I was also getting worried because my sharps container is getting full.

Ouch!!

It's now Monday night and my 3rd day on Repronex.  First, let me say how much this stuff burned on the 1st day!  Lupron was like injecting water into my belly, Repronex is more like injecting poison.  I looked online for ways to alleviate the pain and read that if you wait 20 minutes after mixing it, it doesn't burn as much.  I tried it and luckily it worked!  Second, I want to say how much of a pain it is to mix it without the Qcap.  It takes me about a half hour to mix 4 vials of Repronex with 1 cc of Sodium Chloride.  The process sucks:  You have to fill the syringe with 1 cc of Sodium Chloride and then slowly inject it into 1 vial of the Repronex powder.  Swirl the vial gently to dissolve the powder and make sure not to make air bubbles.  Then, withdraw the solution from the vial and inject into the next vial of Repronex.  Continue the process for each vial until all 4 are dissolved into the syringe.  It drove me crazy that I could never seem to withdraw all of the solution from each of the vials.  Even though I'm adding to the solution each time I mix it, I always ended up with less solution than when I started.

Anyway, this is my box of Repronex and some info on what it does.

Repronex, Phase 2

Top row is Sodium Chloride, bottom row is Repronex

"This medication is used to treat certain fertility problems in women.  It provides follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) and luteinizing hormone (LH) that help stimulate healthy ovaries to make eggs.  This medication is usually used in combination with another hormone (human chorionic gonadotropin-hCG) to help you become pregnant by bringing about the growth and release of a mature egg (ovulation)."
Source: WebMD

My new daily kit

Tomorrow, I have to get blood work done in the morning and have an appointment with Dr. R after work.  Hopefully, everything is still fine and I can do my retrieval at the end of the month.  

CD #2

Yesterday was the 1st day of my dot and thus begins a new cycle.  I'm hoping everything goes well this time... I kinda got off to a bad start by missing my appointment this morning.  I blamed my job but really I just overslept.  I feel terrible about it but I was just so darn sleepy.  Luckily, I'm able to go in tomorrow to make up for it.  So far I'm doing really well because my dot is lighter than usual and I don't have any cramps or headaches.  I don't know if that's good or bad but I'll definitely ask tomorrow. 

CD #37

Well, it time for my weekly recap.


Last Friday I experienced a minor setback with this IVF cycle.  I went to the Dr. R's office twice in one day.  My 1st appointment was for blood work and a sonogram and the 2nd appointment was for a pelvic exam by the Dr.  I received instructions for starting the Repronex later on as long as the blood results came back positive.  It didn't even cross my mind that something would be wrong but by 3 pm, the Dr.'s office called and let me know that my dot was on it's way due to a high level of some hormone in my blood.  Therefore, I shouldn't start on the Repronex and should just wait for my dot and call them back then.  In other words this cycle flopped and now we're back to Phase 1 as soon as I get my dot.  I guess it's not completely terrible... I wouldn't want to continue the process knowing it's not gonna work anyway.  I trust my Dr. to know what's best even if it makes me feel bad.  Hubby says not to worry and that everything will be fine.  Now if only he could convince me.

CD #30 / Lupron

I'd been meaning to put up some pics and info on the injectable stuff I'm currently using. The first is my box of Leuprolide. I've been on it for a little over a week now and here's basically what it does is:

"Lupron causes the pituitary gland to release high amounts of FSH and LH (luteinizing hormone) for several days until its stores are depleted. Since continued use of Lupron prevents the pituitary gland from producing new supplies of FSH and LH, the amount of these hormones being released per day becomes very low after 7 to 10 days. The goal that we achieve with Lupron is to ensure that blood levels of LH are low during the last few days of follicle growth, since we know that high levels of LH can lead to poor egg quality and stimulate progesterone production by the ovaries. A premature rise in progesterone may cause inappropriate maturation of the uterine lining and lead to a lesser chance of embryo implantation."

Source: Fertility Today

My daily kit, Phase 1.

I'll keep adding info as time progresses and as I start using the meds.

CD #29

This past week I've been focused on getting my house organized and ready for baby.  I would love to say that my place is picture perfect and that everything in here has a home but sadly that's not the case.  The place is in chaos but hopefully in about another week everything will be in order.  I know my hubby doesn't see it that way but i do.  I always kept saying I would clean up and organize our stuff eventually but all I ended up doing was stuffing things in various closets throughout the house.  No more!  I've finally mustered up the energy necessary to go through every piece of clothing, paper, photo, knickknack, etc. and throw out the trash or donate things I don't need.

My inspiration for doing all this: iheartorganizing.  All of her photos and ideas are amazing!  My favorite part of her site is the Project Gallery, which has loads of helpful advice for organizing every area of your home.  I really liked her kid's closet and I'm thinking of doing something similar in my baby's room.  I just have empty it out first.  In the spirit of keeping it real, it looks like this right now lol.

I'll update with all the new pics when we're done.

CD #23

I'd forgotten to mention that yesterday I bought my first baby product, as in something that can only be used is I have an actual baby.  Sure, I've purchased stuff for babies before such as lotions or powders but this time I bought it to use in the hopes that I get pregnant.  I told myself that even if I don't have a baby, I could always give it away as a baby shower gift.  Somehow I don't see myself parting from it that easily though.

The item I purchased was a baby sling by Seven Everyday Slings.  I'd seen it on my FB news feed because I follow a page to someone who does extreme couponing.  She posted an offer about the baby sling being free with having to pay only $11.99 for S&H.  It sounded like a good deal so I took my measurement and ordered one.  I wished I could pick out a non neural color design but I have no way of knowing what sex my baby will be until several months from now if the procedure works this cycle.  Clearly I'm being an optimist.

The color I ordered is Caramel Latte.  Isn't it adorable?

CD #22

I realize it's been a while since I last posted an entry but the past 2 weeks have passed by so quickly.  Let's catch up.

CD #10:  I was feeling pretty crappy, lol.  Not to start off on a bad note but I woke up with a terrible headache that made my eyes sensitive to even the slightest bit of light.  I ended up staying in from work and felt better by the afternoon so my hubby & I went out to buy our Valentine's Day gifts... new RAZR phones.  More practical than romantic but we don't make a big deal about Hallmark holidays anymore.  Just being together is enough for us.

My new purple RAZR.

CD #11:  Valentine's Day.  I was welcomed back at work with what was going to be a written warning for "excessive absences."  Turns out that the days I'd used for a gallbladder surgery last year were being counted against me.  Luckily it got cleared up but I still worried because I'm going to need to use more sick days when I do the retrieval and the embryo transfer.  My manager suggested I call our insurance company to find out about other options.  They informed me that I could apply for intermittent family leave where my job is legally protected if the time off meets their medical criteria.  What a relief!

CD #12:  My hubby & I had our first appointment with his urologist.  He did a quick consult and said that everything looked well and that he'd be working closely with Dr. R to ensure the best results.  After the appointment, we had dinner at a local restaurant we hadn't been to in a long time and shared some memories about our last visit there with someone very special to us who is always in our hearts.

CD #15:  We put on our dancing shoes and hit the big city for a night out of dining and entertainment.  The celebration was for our friend's birthday at the Copacabana in NYC.  They served a delicious 3 course dinner for us on one floor and then we headed upstairs for some party music.  It was an incredibly fun time!  We hadn't done anything like this in a long time and it didn't end until my little head finally hit the pillow at around 5 am the next morning.  As I said on FB, "U know it was a good night when u wake up & find out there's a fraud protection block on ur acct for unusual activity!!"  

At the Copacabana, my hubby and I are the couple in the bottom left.

CD #21:  Yesterday I got the green light to begin my Lupron injections.  I must admit, the first one was a little scary.  I was fine during the preparation but when it was time to inject the liquid, I stalled about 4 times before actually doing it.  Lucky for me, I have an amazing husband to coach me through the process.  It wasn't nearly as bad as I imagined it'd be, so today's shot went much quicker.  Can you believe that I'm almost excited about taking these injections now, lol?!

Well, now that I'm caught up with the tales of my journey, I can go to bed and rest.  Good night.

Winter BBQ / CD #8

Last Saturday, my hubby and I hosted a Winter BBQ party at our house.  We can't really take credit for the idea tho, for that we have my hubby's friend to thank.  He convinced us it could be done even in the midst of potential snow flurries.  We quickly called up some friends and prepared for the event.  Luckily the flurries ended very early in the day, almost everyone we called showed up, and my hubby's friend did all the cooking on the grill.  All I had to do was make was a potato salad.  Some of our friends thought the sudden winter BBQ was actually a party to announce my pregnancy. I hated to disappoint them but we're just not there yet. It's funny because they don't know that we're trying and all that we're going through to make it happen, but it's nice to see that our friends are really looking forward to us having a baby. I love them all for always supporting us and wanting the best for us. All in all, the BBQ was a success and everyone had a good time, some a whole lot more than others (had to be there). I can't wait to do it again! Maybe next time there'll actually be some good news to announce.

Psych 101 / CD #6

As part of the IVF checklist, my hubby and I had to have a visit with a psychologist!  We're now racing toward the finish line so we booked the appointment ASAP cuz there's no time to waste.  We were somewhat nervous about the visit because this woman actually has the authority to put the brakes on the whole thing if she feels something is wrong.  Not that we're crazy or anything, at least not all the time, but who doesn't have those moments... right? 

Anyway, as we walked into her office, my confidence grew and I suddenly felt like my psych degree would pay off all at once. There was a reason we were sent here, I just had to find her angle... what was she looking for? After a couple of formalities, I gathered she was most interested in our reaction to questions regarding the possibility of multiples. As far as we're concerned a baby is a blessing and if we happen to get two then we'll consider ourselves twice as lucky! Needless to say we genuinely nailed it and our psych's letter of approval is making its way to Dr. R's office.

CD #2

My hubby and I are in a good mood today... probably for different reasons.  The day I've been waiting for is finally here, the beginning of my cycle!  Oh, and it's also Super Bowl Sunday today so that's what my hubby has been looking forward to.  I'm feeling good, a little crampy, a little bloated, but most importantly no headaches.  If I calculated correctly, this means that I start my Lupron injections on Feb 25, CD #21.  It seems weird to look forward to taking injections on a daily basis but just the idea of going out into the world with my future baby in my arms is all I need to get my heart pounding with excitement!  Ok, so I'm off to get dressed for the all day Super Bowl event at my mom's house... the hubby's already rushing me to get ready.  He's rooting for the Giants but I've liked the Patriots for a couple of years now even though I don't follow football too much.  I definitely want them to win!  Sorry, babe :-P

Cycles

Lately, it seems like my life is beginning to revolve around my cycles and I don't like it one bit.  Waiting for my dot (period) seems like an eternity especially when I have a shelf full of meds and needles ready to get my body into serious baby making mode.  I'm expecting my dot sometime around the second week of February and as per Dr. R's orders, I should most likely begin with Lupron injections on CD (Cycle Day) #21. Now if I could only get to CD #1!!  I know it doesn't seem like a big deal but my cycles tend to last more than the normal 28 days, try more like 38+ days.  Dr. R says this is due to some thyroid thing I've got going on which isn't serious at all, thankfully, but is just really inconvenient.  I ended up researching ways to help induce my dot sooner and read about a pill that can do just that called Humphrey's #11 Symptoms of Delayed Menses.

What it is:

"Since 1854, our remedy has been formulated using natural ingredients to gently stimulate your body to return to it's natural state of health.
Uses: temporarily relieves symptoms associated with delayed menses, such as cramps, backache, anxiety, mood changes, nervous tension, irritability, headache & bloating."
iherb.com


While the description says it basically just treats the symptoms, I've been reading many posts on message boards that says it actually helps regulate your cycle and bring it on within days of taking the pills.  The worst thing I've read in relation to inducing my dot is that it doesn't work, so if there are no horrible, life threatening side effects it sounds good to me.  Apparently, it can be found at your local drugstore, too.  Needless to say, I will be taking a slight detour on the way home from work to pick it up tomorrow.

Update: My local Rite Aid didn't have it.  I've been having such rotten luck this week.  :(

Mommy?

Wow, I just realized that I called this blog "Mommy Memoirs" when I don't have any kids and am not even pregnant. Am I getting ahead of myself here & did I mention I was anxious? Not surprisingly, I have found that the best cure for my anxiety is shopping. Luckily, I have a wonderful husband who loves to indulge me with all my heart's desires. This brings us to the purchase of a crystal heart necklace from a new local shop close to my mom’s house. The shop, Glam Her, pretty much has it all... as the site says "Everything from the bedroom, to the kitchen, to the dance floor!" I'll definitely be making future purchases from here until I finally get pregnant and can start shopping for the baby.

My lovely necklace

Update: I wasn't able to get my necklace yet, but I'm hoping Saturday's the day.

Appointment FAIL

This is my first blog post... YAY!!  Now that I got that out of my system, on to something else.

Today my hubby, Leo and I were supposed to be meeting with his urologist for the first time.  I really didn't know what to expect from this visit but anything that gets us closer to conceiving our baby is a step in the right direction.  A brief history on the matter: My hubby and I have been TTCing for about 2 years now since we got married on May 9, 2009.  He's in a wheelchair due to an accident that happened a couple of years before that, but we've been together since May 3, 2003.  Unfortunately, we haven't been blessed with a baby yet so we turned to the expertise of a really great infertility specialist, Dr. R, to help us out.  He'll be taking care of everything that I need and the urologist he referred us to will help with everything Leo needs.  However, due to major staffing issues at my job, I was unable to get out on time and we had to reschedule the appointment.  I'm kinda bummed out by this and now have to wait until February 15 to go back.   At least this isn't as bad as when I had to reschedule my whole IVF procedure last week for the same reason.  I was ready to begin the first step to the IVF process but now I have to wait for my next cycle.  It's making me anxious to wait this long because, seriously, haven't I waited long enough!  I don't mean to sound so inpatient, but I know I'm definitely ready for this!!

Here we are on our wedding day!